"The Everything Machine: The Ultimate Theoretical Device of
 Infinite Possibilities"
**Entry: Everything Machine**
The Everything Machine, a concept so bewildering and so astonishingly
 vast in its capabilities, that it makes the Infinite Improbability
 Drive look rather like a child's toy in comparison. Coined by the
 enigmatic ultra-genius philosopher, Vroomfondel the Obscure (no
 relation to the Vroomfondel known for his stark raving sane comments
 on the nature of existence), the Everything Machine represents the
 pinnacle of not only engineering and computational prowess but also of
 sheer, unadulterated optimism.
**Description:**
The Everything Machine, according to its few proponents, is a device
 capable of producing absolutely anything, from a cup of perfectly
 brewed tea to a fully operational battlecruiser, complete with a
 manual written in perfectly understandable Swahili. As the name
 suggests, the Everything Machine can theoretically generate everything
 (yes, this includes another Everything Machine, a fact that has caused
 several existential crises among the more thoughtful scientists and at
 least two minor deities).
**Origin:**
Its origin is as mysterious as its creator, primarily because
 Vroomfondel the Obscure made it his life's mission only to work in the
 most bewildering and untraceable manner possible. It is said that the
 idea came to him during a particularly intense meditation session
 within the Total Perspective Vortex, where he was promptly and
 entirely ignored.
**Functionality:**
The rumored operational principle of the Everything Machine lies in its
 unparalleled mastery over space, time, matter, energy, and
 particularly, bureaucratic loopholes. It is believed to possess an
 advanced form of intelligence that enables it to understand and
 fulfill any desire, wish, or need, expressed, implied, or otherwise
 sighed about in frustration. 
However, despite its supposed capabilities, no completed Everything
 Machine exists. This is mostly due to the fact that every attempt at
 gathering the necessary components resulted in the researchers getting
 distracted by a device capable of making the perfect sandwich, thus
 forgetting what they were originally working on.
**Location:**
The blueprint of the Everything Machine is rumored to be scattered
 across the known universe, coded in the DNA of a particularly
 unassuming species of space-faring shrimp. Why Vroomfondel the Obscure
 chose this method of data storage remains one of the galaxy's most
 perplexing mysteries   although it has significantly increased the
 culinary value of said shrimp at intergalactic auctions.
**Warning:**
Experts warn that even if the Everything Machine were to be
 constructed, using it might be highly discouraged. This is largely due
 to the fundamental law of the universe that states, "If something
 can go wrong, it will," and with the Everything Machine, it could
 go wrong in an infinite number of ways, simultaneously. There is also
 a serious concern regarding the machine's ability to produce entities
 capable of questioning the ethical implications of their own existence.
In conclusion, while the Everything Machine remains a fascinating piece
 of theoretical technology, it is advised to approach anything
 resembling such a device with extreme caution, if not outright
 skepticism. That, or prepare a good cup of tea; the universe, as
 always, is profoundly indifferent.
Remember, should you ever come across a potential Everything Machine,
 the first object you request it to make should always be a towel   for
 reasons that should be abundantly clear to any seasoned hitchhiker.