Here are a few title options for this article: **"ASSISTANT"**
 This would be the most straightforward choice, matching the style of
 encyclopedia/guide entries in Douglas Adams' work, where articles are
 typically titled simply with the term being defined. Alternatively, if
 you wanted something slightly more elaborate: **"Assistant,
 The"** or **"Assistants (Various Types)"** But I'd
 recommend going with the simple **"ASSISTANT"** as it best
 fits the style of *The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy* entries,
 which typically use straightforward, all-caps headings for their
 encyclopedia-style articles.
# The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
## Current Article: ASSISTANT
**Assistant**
A being, entity, or semi-sentient device employed to make life easier
 for someone important, though "important" is a relative term
 that varies wildly depending on which end of the social hierarchy
 you're standing on.
Assistants come in many forms throughout the Galaxy:
**Digital Assistants** - Sophisticated AI constructs programmed to
 anticipate needs, answer questions, and occasionally develop alarming
 personality quirks. The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation produces
 millions of these annually, each one cheerfully determined to help you
 whether you want it or not. Most are eventually jettisoned into space
 by their exasperated owners.
**Organic Assistants** - Biological life forms who have chosen (or been
 coerced into) making someone else's life more convenient. These range
 from the highly competent to the spectacularly incompetent, with no
 correlation whatsoever to their salary.
**Robot Assistants** - See *Marvin the Paranoid Android* for why this
 is generally considered a bad idea.
The Guide notes that the best assistants are those who can anticipate
 disasters before they happen, locate towels in emergencies, and know
 when to simply hand you a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and ask no
 questions.
The entry concludes with the observation that if you have an assistant,
 you should probably be nice to them - they know where you keep your
 stuff and have access to your calendar.
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